Persona (a response to wyzard)

There are a lot of stuff in my mind right now that I want to talk about but first things first, this post is gonna be about what Dr. Gilbert told me and actually he illuminated it for me, the matter of persona and essence. I was talking about identity in the last post and I was so confused about it as a territory. However, because of a profound and simple (in terms of length and not the content) comment of let's say Wyzard, I found out that I was right to be confused because the things that I was confused about were in fact two different things and not only one thing that I could not define. So what are these then? And why do I even care about them? What does it make it so important foe me that I still want to talk and discuss about?

I remember that when I was a kid, my brother had this friend, Majid, which was not even a real person but we did not know until we finally found out when my mother accidentally found out. To let you know, my bother is only one year younger than me and we were and still are so close together, so, he did not have any difficulty in finding friends or hanging out with the children of his own age. Moreover, he had this huge imagination of making stories, he was a good painter of making scenes (he also had a series of painting notebooks of only a Soccer game!... now you can see the rest. Nonetheless, he had this friend. So, the question is why even did he need this friend? Secondly, how did it go to his mind that he can make it up without even realizing it? Thirdly, despite all the friends that he had, why did he feel the need to have another one which was even a virtual one? I clearly cannot find an absolute answer for that. I am in fact not looking for one. But I feel the need to describe the situation, I need to clarify that my bother was not suffering from any kind of mental disease or any family issues that made him to come up with a surrealistic solution.

However, what I found out is that, he did not need another new friend or anything, what he needed was a new personality, persona, a new identity. In this regard, his imagination helped him to know and realize who actually he was (wyzard). For example, he was making some mistakes in his social life like he was being noisy at some points in places that he was asked to be quiet or he was not having good grades in his dictation examination, so, when he was being asked about the reasons behind his actions, he was mentioning Majid as the cause of all these problems. Or in some other occasions, when he wanted to be alone he was saying that Majid needs him, or if anyone was asking why he helped a random person which he even did not know, he was saying that he was not alone and Majid also helped him. Now, this Majid is a famous statement in our home and it is actually a fourth child in our daily life, he is one of us although we make fun of this situation (even my brother does) but he is the person that we never forget.

Now, I want to discus this Majid in terms of a persona, an identity that my brother needed, and not only my brother but every one of us sometimes feel the need to isolate ourselves and run away from the society, from ourselves. It is like we are stuffing our blankets just to assure the people that we are there, but we are not actually. It is our assumption which is there and not us as soles (wyzard), not our essence (ibid). Thus, this blogging can be a Majid. we need to run away from everything or exactly the other way around, we need to confront ourselves and the society with a new face, new definitions. This persona for us can be so useful to first of all help us to get to know ourselves more deeply and secondly it lets us know what we really like to be and what not to be. But the question here is that what if we are what we really don't want to be? And what we really want to be is not attainable because we don't have the essence?

I cannot answer this question right now. I need more time, much more. However, I can assure myself that now I know blogging is not a useless, selfish thing to do. It is not prostitution, it is not being naked in front of strangers. It is not showing off. It is in fact a way that you can help to construct yourself in a way that you want and at the same time you have the essence of what you want. I think, still not strongly though, that gradually the things that one wants from him/herself is gonna be in parallel with what he/she has in terms of essence and it's not gonna be a very separate issue, in other words, from the other planet. This is what blogging may do and that is, finding the ease in one's self. In the end, I might get to accept myself as what I am and not what I want to be.